15 mars 2008
Lonesome Cowboy Burt (Swaggart Version)
My name is Swaggart
I am an asshole
All my friends,
They call me 'Jim'
(Hi, Jim !)
I'm from Louisianna,
I make lots of money,
But I fucked up
And commited a sin
Come out here to Californy,
Just to find me
Some pretty girls
(No shit !)
The ones I seen
Gets me so horny
Ruby lips,
'N teeth like pearls !
Wanna love 'em all !
In the name of Jesus !
Wanna pretty girl
I'll even pay !
I'll buy 'em furs !
I'll buy 'em jewelry !
I'll never fuck them;
Here's what I say :
I'm lonesome Cowboy Jim !
(Speakin' atcha !)
I only give 'em the tips of him !
(Posin' atcha !)
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance,
On this here prostitute...
Yodel-oh-oo-pee-hey
Yodel-oh-oo-pee !
(He's lonesome Cowboy Jim
Look at the tip of him !)
Come on in this place,
'N I'll buy you a taste,
You can sit on my face
Where's my prostitute/waitress ?
Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (thank you !)
Swaggart, Swaggart redneck (yes sir !)
I'm an awful nice guy! (so you say)
I sweat all day in the sun! (oh yeah, yeah)
I'm a preacher by trade,
Quite a bundle like me,
And I'm a feature ol' mumble-mumble
Son-of-a-gun !
(He's a unionized roofin' old
Son-of-a-gun !)
Fill in the blank !
When I get off, I get,
When I get off, I get,
When... I, I, I, I,
And then, Sharkey says:
When I get off (pfft !)
I get sinful
(Just the tip! Only the tip now, come on)
I spoo
Till I goo
On the rug
Then I find me
Some eighteen ninety-five Louisianna style prostitute
And make her do pornographic sex while I watch
And I have
So much fun
Jesus ! Jesus !
(Pornographic stuff and he has so much fun)
(What ?)
I huff
And I puff
And I pump up my sanctified erection
Till my cheeks
Puff up
An' turn red
Along with my neck
(Say, varmint !)
I drool
On my shirt
Takes a little while before I squirt
But I've been doin' it for twenty years and they haven't caught me yet
UH-OH !
Made a mistake this time !
Now I've sinned
Everybody!
(What an asshole!)
Made a mistake and I've sinned, uh !
Made a mistake and I've sinned, ow !
Made a mistake and I've sinned, what ?
Made a mistake and I've sinned
Lonesome Cowboy Jim !
(Sinnin' atcha !)
Come smell this fringe-y shirt !
(Grinnin' atcha !)
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance,
On this here prostitute...
Yodel-oh-oo-pee-yeh
Yodel-oh-oo-pee!
(He's Lonesome Cowboy Jim,
Don't you dare to laugh at him/swat)
(Oh, tune me in now)
Come on in this place,
An' I'll buy you a taste,
'N you can sit on my face
Where's my prostitute ?
Opal you, you hot little bitch !
FZ - The Best Band You Never Heard in Your Life
